We're a quarter of the way through the football season, so I figured I would post about my favorite topic. Let's start with the surprises of the season so far...

1. Minnesota and Dallas are sucking...out loud! And guess what? They have to play in the Underachievement Bowl this weekend. During last years season, Brett Favre must have been shooting steroids in between texting cock pictures to unsuspecting females because he definitely looks like a 40+ year old quarterback. Dallas is almost inexplicable...Almost. Wade Phillips is not a good coach. Period. Expect Phillips to be canned by the end of the season and make way for Jason Garrett, Bill Cowher, Marty Schottenheimer, etc...to take his place.

2. The Kansas City Chiefs are 4-1 (and could easily be 5-0) and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are 3-1. They held Peyton Manning to nil this past weekend and just couldn't put up more field goals than the Colts did. They're doing a great job down there and have a potentially epic trio of running backs at their disposal. Another secret to their success is the previously failed head coaches going back to what they do best, coordinating. Charlie Weiss and Romeo Crennel are as good as it gets when talking about Offensive/Defensive Coordinators. They're doing a great job. Look for them to take the AFC West title and get slaughtered in the playoffs.

The Bucs are a weak 3-1. I don't expect a lot to come out of this fast start. They are still young at the skill positions and have an inexperienced head coach. But I will say they're playing with a lot of heart, and they will definitely be a force to be reckoned with in the future. They will most likely end up 8-8 and miss the playoffs, but that's a great improvement over last year.

3. The Chicago Bears are in first place in the NFC North. With supposed powerhouses Minnesota and Green Bay faltering, the Bears have taken advantage. Sans the embarrassing outing against the Giants a couple of weeks ago, it looks like they are grasping Martz' offense well and are complimenting their offense with Super Bowl caliber defense. It is no secret that I'm a Bears fan, and I predicted even in the preseason that this team would make some noise. They will get better as the season progresses, and look for them in January.

4. Randy Moss gets traded, but Vincent Jackson doesn't. Hmmm...This is peculiar. Rumor dictates that there was a Moss/Brady slap fight (over who has the more ridiculous hair style) shortly before his trade, which would explain everything. If any player pissed off the guy we just agreed to pay $19 million per year to, I'd show him the door personally. But if this alleged incident didn't really happen, then the Patriots do the smart thing yet again. They get something for Randy Moss before they don't re-sign him at the end of the year. That's why they've been this good for so long.

The Vincent Jackson soap opera is sort of similar. Vincent Jackson voiced his displeasure over not receiving even a small wink and nod that he would be getting a new, long-term contract this season. So he took his ball and went home. And for the same reason that Belichick and the Patriots have championships and a competitive team every year, AJ Smith has no championships and at least one disgruntled star every year. AJ Smith had the opportunity to get 2 draft picks for Vincent Jackson and not have to pay his salary for the rest of the year...Great deal right? Apparently not. Because the two draft picks offered were 2nd and 4th round picks and not the 2nd and 3rd round picks that he wanted, Smith squashed the deal. So this is what happens:

-Smith has to pay Jackson an entire season's salary for playing 6 games.
-Jackson is a free agent next year, he won't sign in San Diego, and the Chargers
get nothing for him.
-The Chargers lose yet another star player over AJ Smith's childish antics.
-Jackson will probably end up signing with a division rival and burn their asses
twice a year for the next 8 years.

Moral of this story? AJ Smith is an idiot. Archie Manning did say it right when he called him "The Lord of no Rings."

5. Michael Vick has realized his potential. And Kyle Orton has become an elite passer. If Michael Vick keeps this up, when he comes back from his injury, he may be the most dangerous quarterback in football. No shit...

Kyle Orton's new found Superman cape is definitely confusing. He's always shown the capability of winning, but never did he show that he can chuck the ball all over the field, no matter how good your defense was. If this Orton was present in Chicago, would Jay Cutler even be there?

6. The Niners are 0-5. Mike Singletary was supposed to bring discipline and continuity to a team that has had none in the past 8 years. So much for that. The only thing he's brought is a terrified group of reporters that are afraid to ask him questions (which is actually pretty funny). Alex Smith should be excelling finally, and its just more of the same. I think the Alex Smith experiment has run its course and they need to move on.

Not so surprising:

1. The Bills are the worst team in football. Called it a long time ago. Although, Ryan Fitzpatrick has actually been a bright spot. 7TD's to 2INT's so far...not bad.

2. The Jets are good. Yeah, no kidding. Can you believe it? It's not like they have a inordinate amount of talent there...

3. The Cardinals have fallen apart without Kurt Warner. And coupled with that, Matt Leinart not only sucks, but was released. Kurt Warner deserves more praise than he got, and it was apparent immediately that Matt Leinart was incapable of leading a team.

4. Seattle is good at home (really good) and sucks on the road. As per usual...

5. The Bengals have all the talent in the world, but play like they haven't practiced all week. All comes down to coaching. When in the hell will the front office realize that Marvin Lewis is not the answer. He needs to be fired. Another great coordinator, but mediocre coach.

6. Ben Roethlisberger is a self-centered caveman dickhead.

7. The Colts have no defense and Peyton Manning will have to carry them far enough to just miss the SuperBowl again...

8. There will be no repeat champion this year.

We're only 5 weeks in and its been a really interesting season. I can't wait to see with the rest of this season brings.

Enjoy!

and...

GO BEARS!